Dialogue with a Hack Writer
EDITOR Could I have you write something for next month’s issue of my magazine?
AUTHOR I can’t do it. I’ve been sick all recently and I’m completely unable to write anything.
EDITOR I’d like to ask for you specifically, though.
Herein there is an argument in which the EDITOR tries to get the AUTHOR to write something. In the course of this argument, neither listens to the other.
AUTHOR …depends on something like that, then please just refuse this time.
EDITOR I’m in a bind. Anything’s fine: even just two or three pages. Frankly it just needs to have your name on it.
AUTHOR Is it not foolish to publish something like that? Of course it’s a shame for my readers, but it would also be a loss for the magazine. If you piss on somebody’s head and tell them that it’s raining, they will turn on you.
EDITOR It wouldn’t be a loss at all! Even when we run anonymous stories, if they’re good they’re good, and if they’re bad they’re bad. The one who bears responsibility is the magazine publisher, but in the case of famous authors’ works, whether they’re good or bad the fault always lies with the author.
AUTHOR So then am I not all the more responsible?
EDITOR However, in the case of such a master like yourself, even if you put out one or two bad works, there probably won’t be any grumblings that you’ve impugned your fame.
AUTHOR That’s the same reasoning that says that if a man’s livelihood is not troubled by the theft of five or ten yen it’s okay to steal from him! Just tell the party who’s been robbed that it’ll get better, why don’t you?
EDITOR I’m uncomfortable with you thinking it robbery, but you could think of it as charity.
AUTHOR Your joking isn’t putting me at ease. When a magazine comes to buy my manuscripts, is that not the same as a business transaction? There must be all sorts of posters: for requests, for missions. However, there must be few magazines who will remain loyal in those insistences or mission until they post losses. In the case of a successful author, manuscripts are bought. In the case of an unsuccessful author, nobody will buy, even if begged: that much is evident. Looking at it this way, for both authors and magazines, should not the authors themselves focus on their own benefit, by refusing, or taking responsibility?
EDITOR You must keep in mind the wishes of your hundreds of thousands of readers, though.
AUTHOR That’s some childish sentimentality! Not even a middle schooler would take that seriously.
EDITOR Not at all. With my whole heart I intend to meet my readers’ aspirations.
AUTHOR That must be the way you are. Meeting readers’ aspirations is making good business at the same time, you know.
EDITOR I’m worried that you think of it like that. All you’re saying is business, business, but when I get you to write something, it’s not just business. It’s also because I really like your work.
AUTHOR That may be the case. When I want to write, even a little, there must be some good will mixed in. Naïve men like myself are easily moved by just that good will. Even when I say over and over that I can’t write, I come to want to write if I do. Though I have leapt before I have looked, that will not be satisfactory on my deathbed. If I do not end up in unpleasant circumstances, you definitely will.
EDITOR Aren’t you just saying that man is an emotional creature and not a thinking one? Then try and feel my emotions.
AUTHOR I’m not feeling your ready-made emotions.
EDITOR Can you please just write me something without talking so much about reason? I’d like to save face.
AUTHOR Hmm. I’ll write this dialogue with you.
EDITOR If you really have to, that’s fine. Can I have it by the middle of the month?
A MASKED MAN suddenly appears between the two.
MASKED MAN (to the AUTHOR) You are a pitiful creature! One moment you say these grand-sounding things, then in covering up your own ineptness, you will write any sorry thing at all, no matter how ramshackle! Long ago I saw Balzac write a marvelous short story in one night. When he became angry, he soaked his feet and then continued writing. When I think of that fierce spirit, the likes of you appears to me as no different from that of a dead man. Even if you took responsibility for a moment, why do you not learn? (to the EDITOR) You are undedicated! Even in America running a sham story is starting to be a problem. Give one look to the world outside your pitiful little life and consider high quality!
The EDITOR and the AUTHOR stare at the MASKED MAN, dumbfounded, unable to say a word.
(October 1921?)*
(Unfinished)
*Akutagawa’s question mark, not mine.